Secrets to Vegas: Play Time
Scary rides: You've all heard Las Vegas referred to as an adult playground. For those of us who are denying our adulthood, the casino developers have been kind enough to create mini-theme parks. The most raved-about roller coaster is the Manhattan Express at New York-New York, which costs $8. Expect lots of twists, loops, dives and inversions at about 67 miles per hour. Although it's not a roller coaster, the Big Shot at the Stratosphere gets high marks for scariness. Imagine being strapped into a chair 1,000 feet above the ground, then being launched 160 feet up a tower in two seconds. We recommend riding at night, so try to keep your eyes open for the spectacular view. Oh yeah, and go to the bathroom first! The first ride on the Big Shot costs $10, which includes admission to the Stratosphere Tower. Once you're in, additional rides are only $3 apiece.
Free attractions: Las Vegas offers free drinks when you gamble, free lounge acts, free parking and a few free attractions. MGM-Mirage Resorts has made an art of outdoor exhibits with the Battle of Buccaneer Bay at Treasure Island, the Volcano at the Mirage and the Fountains at the Bellagio. The Rio's Masquerade Village offers a "Show in the Sky" that features live music, singing, dancing, stilt walkers and colorful costumes. This is where everyone gets those metallic beaded necklaces you've been seeing around town. Most observers watch the elaborate show for free, but if you really want to join the fun, pay $9.95, get in costume and party alongside the performers. Next, for the mushy, sentimental (but they really are cute) attraction, visit the MGM Grand's Lion Habitat. The multilevel viewing area allows you to see several lions and cubs in a lush environment. Admission is free, but if you can't resist getting your picture taken with a lion, that will cost you $20.
Seal your finances: Perhaps you're not one of those people who will take advantage of the $10 million chip at the Aladdin, and you need to budget your millions. May we suggest individual envelopes for each day in Vegas? Separate your gambling rations into the envelopes, and once they're gone (if they are, of course) you can head out to dinner, a show, shopping or just sightseeing. We hear there's a lot to see in Vegas.
Attention gambling virgins: Don't be ashamed. We all can remember that awkward first-time feeling. When you initially sit down at a table, perhaps for a game of blackjack, do yourself a favor -- take lessons if the casino offers them. If lessons aren't available, spend a couple of bucks on the crib card that supplies the basics. When all else fails, ask questions. The dealers are there to help -- and most of the time they're happy to do so. Just watch out for those showy gamblers sitting next to you who seem more than helpful. The dealers are the only true professionals at the table.
It adds up to real money: Coins in a bucket or chips in your hands seem more like play money than the real thing. But it is real, folks -- and unfortunately, there are people out there who would love to separate you from it. Our advice is to keep your change buckets close and your chips even closer. If your winnings become too heavy to lug around, be sure to make use of the hotel safe. By the by, we recommend against the Demi Moore-in-"Indecent Proposal" method of throwing the money on the bed and rolling around in it. You may lose some, and besides, you don't know where that money's been.
Free cigars, you say: The next time you're passing time at the tables or machines and ordering those free drinks, don't forget to ask for a free cigar. Several hotels have been known to keep some of those trendy little incendiary devices on hand for just such an occasion. It's still recommended that you tip the cocktail waitress.
Chocolate and cacti? No, it doesn't make sense to us either, but there it is: the Ethel M Chocolates Factory and Botanical Garden, which resides in nearby Henderson. Tour the factory for free, sample a piece of chocolate at the end of the tour (buy more candy if you can't resist), then tour the botanical garden, which houses some of the desert's most precious species.
Simulator rides: Just as there are several different types of hotels in Las Vegas, there are also several different kinds of magic motion rides. The Luxor offers "In Search of the Obelisk," which is probably the highest-impact simulator ride in town and costs only $6, competing with Excalibur's "Merlin's Magic Motion Machines," which costs $4. The most expensive ride for the experience is "Race for Atlantis" at the Forum Shops. At $9.50, it seemed the ride could have lasted a bit longer. For true Trekkies, "Star Trek: The Experience" is a must. For $24.99 (visitors), $19.99 (NV residents), you'll see Star Trek costumes and props on display prior to riding on an out-of-control ship. And for something completely different, at the Sahara's Cyber Speedway you sit in a real Indy car and "drive" through the streets of Las Vegas at 220 miles per hour. This virtual reality ride is a great way to get rid of road rage for only $8 to $10.
Quick Bellagio fountain quiz: It's 8 on a Saturday night, you're on the sidewalk in front of the Paris Las Vegas and suddenly the Fountains at the Bellagio beckon. You (a) run as fast as you can across the street hoping you didn't miss a drop; (b) stay where you are and enjoy the show from there; or (c) look for the nearest crosswalk, knowing that if you missed anything, the show starts all over again in a mere 15 minutes. This safety tip brought to you by the staff at Vegas.com. Because we care about your well-being (and your gambling dollars).
Botanical Conservatory: Don't just walk by the Bellagio and admire the fountains. Make sure to go inside and see the Bellagio's Botanical Conservatory, gorgeous any time of the year. The arrangements change based on the season or holiday, including groups of flowers that appeared to explode for the Fourth of July and a Christmas tree designed by Martha Stewart; you need to go back each time you visit. One caveat: Children younger than 18 cannot enter Bellagio unless accompanied by adults who are guests of the hotel (or who have reservations at one of the restaurants).
Getting away from the Strip: If you're renting a car or plan on taking a tour and want proof that people actually do live in Las Vegas -- and not in hotels -- take a drive to the Red Rock Canyon Loop. Heading west on Charleston Boulevard, you'll drive for 30 to 45 minutes past local businesses and homes before you arrive. A $5 fee per car will get you onto the 13-mile scenic drive through Red Rock Canyon, and it's definitely worth the price of admission. You can also drive out past Red Rock to the Spring Mountain Ranch, a great place to picnic. The ranch also charges a $5-per-car entrance fee.
Pyramid scheme: We would rather be on the Luxor hotel-casino's attractions floor (702-262-4555), even at this very moment. The IMAX Theatre changes movies every few months and past features have included a biography of Michael Jordan, a 3-D exploration of the Galapagos, Cyberworld 3-D and All Access. The "In Search of the Obelisk" motion simulator ride is blessed by counterculture poet S. A. Griffin's deliciously campy performance as Dr. Osiris. The "King Tut's Tomb" attraction is better than it has any right to be. And best of all, there's a two-story arcade with air hockey tables. Air hockey, man!
Get out there: Arriving before check-in time at your Vegas hotel should be the least of your worries. If you arrive early and your hotel doesn't allow early check-in, grab what necessities you may need for the next couple of hours, drop your bags off with the bellman and be on your way. With so much to do here, don't waste your time in the lobby. Even if it's the most beautiful lobby you've ever seen.
Strip club confidential: Want to enjoy one of Las Vegas' strip clubs and all that entails? It's not as easy as finding your way to a club and waving a dollar at the nearest femme fatale. There are simple rules of conduct to be adhered to. Follow them, and you'll look less like the two-bit heel that you are.
- Dress codes: Some of the more upscale joints require shirts with collars -- and they must be tucked in. Others permit untucked shirts or t-shirts, but no shorts. The general rule is common sense; after all, you're going to be surrounded by beautiful women, so you should at least look the part. Come in looking like a bum, and they'll give you the bum's rush.
- Door charges: The fact is that most strip clubs increase their door charge during convention season. Still, a large group of well-behaved and well-dressed patrons arriving together could conceivably quietly approach the doorman and bargain their way past this cover fee, especially if they arrive early (7-8 p.m.) and order drinks immediately.
- Hands off: Perhaps you've heard tales of wild and reckless abandon taking place in Las Vegas striptease clubs, or perhaps you've seen the patently ridiculous "Showgirls." Either way, you must understand this: these women are, no matter what it may seem like, working. Keep your hands to yourself, and you'll avoid a kick in the groin or a bouncer's meaty shove. Leaving the grinding to the gals will result in a better lap dance anyway.
- Tipping: Like the saying goes, it ain't a city in China. These womens work for tips and tips alone. That means: (a) Don't go into a strip club with barely enough dough to cover a round of drinks; (b) Don't look repeatedly at a dancer working her stuff without walking up and tipping her; and (c) Do not, under any circumstances, take up at stageside seating without a pocketful of dollars. How much will you need for a night? If you are an average drinker, figure at least $30 per hour for a drink or two and stage tipping; lap dances go for $20 each, so add that on if you think you'll find the woman of your dreams (you will, so add it on now).
- Prostitution: 100 percent illegal in Clark County. Don't solicit, suggest dinner or ask for a date; these women are dancers, not hookers. And there's an even chance you may be soliciting an undercover cop.
Remember: nothing smells worse than desperation. Just have fun!
Arrive in style: Your flight made it to McCarran, you claimed your bags, now you're ready to travel to the hotel. You look around at the hotel shuttles, the buses, the taxis, and then you notice the limo. Wouldn't it be great to drive up to your hotel in style? For a mere $4 per person, several limousine companies offer hotel shuttle service. You may have to share a ride with other people, but you probably need to brush up on your conversational skills anyway.
The Rio Grande: If you're tired of spending all your time on the Strip and have heard so much about the Rio hotel, don't walk there, especially when the temperature is 115 degrees. A free shuttle travels from Harrah's to the Rio, and you don't have to be a guest of either hotel.
Lower table limits: Still trying to find your way around the tables, and feeling intimidated by the high table limits on the Strip? Head for downtown Vegas. The table limits for craps, pai-gow poker and "let it ride" are usually lower, so your learning curve won't cost you too much. Oh, and don't forget to order up a $1.50 shrimp cocktail just try not to spill cocktail sauce on the tables.
Player's clubs: Stand in line, get the form and sign up for the frequent gambler card at your favorite hotels. Use the card to accumulate points, since you'll probably be gambling anyway, and perhaps receive something free. It helps to be on the mailing list for a lot of hotels. Who knows, they might pick you for a special room rate or decide to send you tickets to a free show.
24 hours: It's easy to become spoiled by living in Vegas, where most businesses stay open late or even 24 hours. It's a shock when we travel and can't get dinner past 9 p.m., or when we see gas stations that actually close. So, while you're here, eat when you want or grab a Big Gulp at 3 a.m. just because you can! If you're looking to wind down after a show, an especially wonderful spot to hang out and grab a cocktail or dessert is the Peppermill across from the Stardust hotel-casino. The lounge and coffee shop are open 24 hours a day. Even with restorations, the Peppermill still has that Old Vegas feeling.
Maxed out: A visit to the Luxor IMAX Theatre (702-262-4000) is strongly recommended. Since 1970, IMAX has presented what it touts as the Ultimate Film Experience: a really, really big screen with a really, really loud sound system. Can't argue with that! The Luxor IMAX screen is 68 feet tall by 84 feet wide, and the eight-channel sound system boosts 15,000 watts of sound -- more than enough to curl your toes. Although the artistic value of IMAX films varies wildly, the medium itself will rock you.
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